On the first day of my job, Aug 5th 2014 to be exact, which also happens to be the starting point of my first working experience in a.. ehem..“professional” environment, I gave myself a promise:
“I will not become that person who hates his/her job..someone absorbed by corporate life so much that he/she becomes a soulless person.”
Reader: “Wow, this is kinda childish.. Is this actually a line from a shounen anime haha..”
Sooo.. this idea struck me recently. I truly feel like I’m losing my genuine self and it feels awful. 😦 Yesterday I caught myself behaving unnecessarily impatient and aggressive about some issue.. I immediately tried to rollback to “real me”, but this whole thing got me perplexed.
That was not me.. such an attitude was not constructive, not at all. Why would I stress about something that is so insignificant? It is just a task after all..
I don’t know. Maybe it is disgusting office politics, maybe it is due to my manager’s invasive and abusive attitudes, maybe it is being “professional” as Linus Torvalds himself explained here.
I am not happy, and I think I have legitimate reasons for that. For example, why would some group of people, who are on the higher steps of hierarchy, decide to hire someone after testing his/her skills and then do not let them do anything without their approval ?
I honestly cannot comprehend.
Reader: “Aaaah.. The good old micromanagement..”
*Darth Sidious voice* Yeeees.. But let’s talk about that later.
Soooooooo..I feel like my creativity is slowly being extinguished and I’m losing my authentic self. I need to find a new job that is much more employee-friendly and humane.